To my dear, beloved, crushed self,
I love you, and I marvel that you know this. I am so grateful you have the capacity to know this, and to hang onto this unconditional Love, no matter what else you experience, think, or feel. Loving, being loved, holding faith in love, this is the most important thing in Being. W/out this firm, unshakable Love, no other Good thing is possible; no other Good thing can endure outside of Love.
So you must also know that you — your true, core, enduring Self will eventually have to let go of everything but Love.
I know you are very angry about some wounds and injustices done to you. And I fully recognize the validity of your anger. I too am angry that you (that I) weren’t (wasn’t) perfectly protected throughout your childhood and youth. And I don’t offer any excuses for those who hurt you or failed to protect you. But I do offer you a larger reality.
It’s not just a “different” perspective. This “larger” Reality is simply that Love — this Love you abide in — this Love that sustains you — this Love can empower you to let go of hatred, hateful feelings, to let go of a desire for a version of justice that condemns and punishes those who hurt you.
I don’t know HOW God — the Source of Love — will make things “right” eventually. I don’t know what “right” would look like. But I do know that God (Love) can and does use EVERYTHING for Good, and for OUR GOOD. And here’s the thing that’s most important for you right now: The way to get from here to there is to focus on Love, on how Love makes Good things possible, how Love has sustained you, and how Love is growing you.
The lie that creeps in when we hurt is that we have to FIX the hurt or we can’t Be who we really are. The truth is we can be wounded and break in all kinds of ways and still Be our Sacred Self.
Are you more attached to some idea of a “flawless” self than you love your Sacred Self?
I know wounds must be tended, but you’ve already done that and are doing that. But that’s not enough. And you know it. That’s why you struggle so much. What you need is to STRENGTHEN your core-self; feed your Sacred Self. She is so much more than these wounds and scars and memories that drag you down.
I know you know that when you Be more fully You, you will still have your scars, but they are so small in comparison to you, your Sacred-Self. And they don’t have to be eliminated for you to Be.
“I am with you always,” ~ I-Am/Abba/Jesus/Espiritu (and you live in I-Am. So live, grow, abide in Love.)
Jesu juva; soli Deo gloria.
Maybe tomorrow we’ll talk in more detail of how to do this, but for today, simply abide in Love. Think Love, feel Love, give Love, enjoy Love; make room for Love and let it fill your Being; Be Love.